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pizza rats deserve the world by anna lindwasser



pizza rats deserve the world


nyc has the best pizza in the world and if you say otherwise i’ll fight you in the sewer with two rats tied around my hands and two pigeons lifting me up by the shoulders. one time my formerly brooklynite father directed me to luigi’s pizza. the sourdough crust made me want to transform into a hawk so i could steal slices from dive-bombed customers. 2bros cradled me through broke and drunken nights. artichoke basille replaced my heart. lombardi’s could stuff me into a brick oven and i’d happily lick its insides.

 

my hometown is beautiful and impossible and we have the best pizza in the world. i went to maryland one time and had pizza in dessert pie crust. that pizza made me want to transform into a hawk so i could snatch it from customers’ hands and then fly back to nyc to get them some real pizza.

 

but lately i’ve been thinking about how nyc is just one cell in the animal of earth. i’m an anxiety dream turned flesh, built for chaos but not for change. nyc is a frothing sea of madness but it’s my sea and it’s my madness and i always always always know where to find the best pizza i’ve ever tasted in my life.

 

my veins are tracked with subway lines, i’m a pizza rat who loves its habitat but listen, one time a friend i met tumblr took my sister and me to a pizza spot in new haven, connecticut. we got mashed potato pizza that made me want to turn into a little mouse, fast asleep under a mashed potato blanket.

 

and my god, they make pomegranate & molasses pizza in egypt, ginger pizza in china, coconut pizza in costa rica. i’ve never even tried chicago deep dish. what kind of pizza do they eat on mars? who’s stopping me from falling in love, except for me? don’t worry, i’ll still fight you in the sewers like a goddamn ninja turtle if you dishonor my hometown’s pizza, but there are so many stars that can’t be seen from here.


Anna Lindwasser was born and raised in Brooklyn. She thinks her hometown has the best pizza but she's open to other ideas. Her work has been published in Giving Room Magazine, (mac)ro(mic), and Scarlet Leaf Review, among others. She can be found on Twitter @annalindwasser and at her website annalindwasser.com

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